she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Randomize
