nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
