There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Shame is for Republicans.
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