just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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