worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
