It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Randomize