I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
How does it feel to date your dad?
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
