when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
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Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
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