Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
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