What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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