The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
