a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
