We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
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My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
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He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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