Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
