Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
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