I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
