cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
