he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
