I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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