Im at strip club and am horny
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
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