I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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