Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
