Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
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