3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
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