Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
