All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize