I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
