I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
