I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
