Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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