youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Randomize