a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
