Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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