I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Your shirt... Was in my pants
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
