I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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