I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
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