I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
