God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
