What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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