I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
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