just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
The ass gains better be worth it
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
