well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize