Ambien. No doubt about it.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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