Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
