Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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