Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize