Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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