It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
