I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Randomize