ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
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I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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