There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize