Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
