So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
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