The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
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