Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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