I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
