Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
