Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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