I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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