I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Randomize