Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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